Just Like Mommy
by tracer2032
Summary: I think Daddy blames the fire for taking Mommy away. A 4 year old's POV.


Okay so here's my first one shot! Scary thought...but was just thinking of how Dean as a 4 yr. old would process his mother's death so here's my attempt to do that.

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Daddy's crying. He says Mommy is gone, that she's gone away and isn't going to come back. I asked Daddy if it was like hide and seek and all we had to do was find her, but he said no because Mommy wasn't hiding, she'd been stolen. I don't know what that means, but I think Daddy blames the fire for taking Mommy away. 

I remember Daddy screaming and Sammy crying. Behind Daddy was fire, a lot of it, and Sammy's room was hot, very, very hot. I ran because Daddy told me to, and I always listen to Daddy 'cause Mommy says they know what's best. My hands hurt real bad, cause Sammy's heavy even though he doesn't look like it and the stairs are hard cause my legs are short. But I made it outside just like Daddy wanted me too, and me and Sammy waited for him to come out with Mommy.

I didn't have to wait long for Daddy. He was out really soon, and hugged me tight while we watched the fire. I tried to be brave, but it was scary. I asked Daddy where Mommy was then too, but he didn't answer me, he just looked at me and Sammy like he was scared. But Daddy is never scared, never ever, so that meant Mommy was probably coming out in a little while.

A very loud noise hurt my ears and a whole bunch of big trucks and cars came to the house. I knew they were firemen cause Mommy reads me a book with firefighters in it. Mommy says they're really brave. There were other people that tried to take Sammy from me, they said they were pa…pamedics, I think. I don't like pamedics.

Daddy didn't let go of me all night and I didn't let go of Sammy. The firemen had a really big garden hose and sprayed water all over the house. I knew Mommy didn't like getting wet, I even told Daddy that, but she still didn't come out. I told Daddy I was gonna go find her, but he just shook his head and put me in the car. I think I screamed when he buckled me in. But he was leaving Mommy all wet and alone in the house.

I waited a long time for Mommy to meet us at Aunt Carrie's house 'cause that's where I go when her and Daddy go out. But she never came, and I think Daddy knew that she wouldn't. He kept saying he had to make arrrangements. Don't know what that means either, but it was really cold that day he made me stand outside in that huge lawn with all the big stones. There was a hole in the ground and they put a big box in it. Aunt Carrie said it was Mommy, but I don't believe her. Mommy's at the house.

Daddy says Aunt Carrie is right. I don't speak to Daddy or Aunt Carrie anymore. Just Sammy. He sleeps a lot, but when he's up, I tell him stories about Mommy. He laughs and smiles and I know he wants her to come back too. I want Sammy to talk soon, cause I think he saw where Mommy went, and then he can tell me. But Aunt Carrie says he won't be able to for a long time. I can wait.

I want to go back home. I don't like it here, but Daddy says he doesn't want to go back and that we'll find a new home. I ask every day, and one-day he says yes because a lot of our stuff is still there. Daddy grabs three big bags and tells me to get in the car.

The house isn't wet anymore. I yell for Mommy over and over when we step inside, and Daddy stops walking and tells me to quit because Mommy's not here. I take his hand and we go to my room to get my clothes and shoes. I whisper Mommy's name when we go down the halls and the rest of the house so Daddy doesn't hear me, but I think he does 'cause he's breathing really heavy.

Daddy says we can't go to Sammy's room. I try to tell him that Sammy needs clothes too, but he tells me that he can just buy some more. Mommy was in Sam's room the night of the fire, and I think she's still there. So, when Daddy went into his and Mommy's room, I stuck my head into Sammy's room and called for her, telling her that we need her to come back.

Mommy doesn't answer at all. I can't find her. She's not in the house where she should be, and she's not at Aunt Carrie's. And I don't want Mommy in a box under the dirt. Because I can't see her or hug her, and she can't read to me or kiss me. Daddy picks me up, and tells me not to cry because my lips are shaking and big boys don't cry. He swears that he's never coming back here ever again. I swear too.

Sammy's crying. He can tell that Mommy doesn't change his diapers, or tuck him in at night. Daddy doesn't do it as good as Mommy. I don't like it when Sammy cries.

Daddy got a new house for us. It's really small, and me and Sammy share a room. Daddy sleeps on the sofa. He made me grilled cheese for dinner. But Mommy always cut across and Daddy cuts down the middle. He tries to read me stories but he's not as good as Mommy. I tell him I miss her. Daddy doesn't read me stories anymore.

I don't think Mommy's coming back. I sleep with Sammy in his crib because I think he's scared about growing up without a Mommy. I tell him not to be scared, because I can take care of him. I know how to change him, feed him, and read stories better than Daddy. I can do it just like Mommy.

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okay so it sounds elementary...but remember going for the 4-yr. old perspective...if you would lemme know what you thought, that would be great!


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